HYGIENE

As I walk through the day and notice men, I am surprised at what I see sometimes. I see men who do not take care of
themselves and don’t have a sense of pride (a good kind of pride) about their person. So here are some ideas:

1. Trim the excess hairs from your ears and nose, as well as facial hair that she finds un comely.
2. Take care of your breath. If you have problems with bad breath, brush your teeth regularly, use Scope mouth wash, keep some mints around, etc. Don’t speak to her with bad breath!
3. Do you have dry, rough skin? Use Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion, Nutragena, or another quality hand lotion. Don’t go cheap here. Some hand lotions are watered down and do nothing for the skin. Use it on your hands, feet, legs, etc. Your wife would not like to be rubbed with sandpaper any more than with your rough hands.
4. Do you have problems with body odor? Use a quality antiperspirant, cologne, Odor-eaters for the feet, etc.
5. Do you bathe daily? Make sure to get the private areas real good. In fact, it is good to keep something like Johnson’s Baby Wipes with you to freshen up with after you use the rest room. Wiping doesn’t get everything, but something like these wipes are great to really be fresh and clean.
6. Look at your finger nails and toe nails. Most men don’t give attention to them. Have your wife teach you how to manicure yourself. Clean under the nails, push back cuticles, use an emery board to shape the nails, and purchase some Nails for Males at a beauty supply store. It is a clear matte finish. Use on toes and fingers for a clean, fresh look.
7. There is a time to be grubby, and a time to be clean. When you are done with work and chores, get cleaned up and appealing to your wife. Dress nicely, not like a slob.
8. Are you overweight? Out of respect for her and for your own health, begin exercising and eating good food. Stay away
   from chips and beer and heavy foods laden with salts. Eat fruits, fish, white meat, etc. Drink juices instead of soda. Begin exercising by walking, going to a gym, doing push-ups and sit-ups, etc. Set a goal to get down to a good weight where you are trim and appealing for your wife.
9. Wear appealing underwear. You can find nice items on-line. A good place for guys is www.bodyaware.com.

MANNERS

There are so many things to share here:

1. Quit the foul language.  Learn to speak like a human with proper words, not foul words. Believe me, the wife does not want to hear that garbage.
2. Speak gently and politely to your wife and others. If you have a problem with anger, ask your wife for help, find out what is setting you off and have a plan to deal with it before it blind-sides you. Don’t speak in harsh, commanding tones in a way that demeans others and causes them to be alienated from you. Let your words be filled with kindness and grace and love toward others.
3. Find at least 2 things to compliment your wife and others in your house every day. I don’t mean just making things up, but being sincere in your acknowledgement of something they did or who they are as a person.
4. Express your appreciation to your wife for her care for you, the meals she cooks, the little things that she does for you. Learn to say “Thank you!” for these things. Also, when you ask for something, say, “May I please…” or “Would you please…”.
5. Do you help out around the house with washing the dishes, folding laundry, cleaning up after yourself, washing down the sink and mirror after bathing, putting your dirty clothes in the laundry, etc.?
6. Look out for your wife’s needs. Ask her what you can do for her that you aren’t doing now. Tell her you really want to please her and take care of her and be the best husband for her.
7. Do you open the door for your wife, pull out her chair to have her seated, make sure she is served food first, etc?
8. Do you do things that embarrass your wife like burping or passing gas without trying to be quiet?  Ten year olds do those things.  They aren’t funny.  What about picking your nose in public?  Use a hankerschief and blow the nose.
9. When you eat, eat slowly and with your mouth closed while you are chewing.  Eating shouldn’t be a race.  Don’t smack
   the lips or after each drink of something say “Ahhhhh”.  Those things are very annoying!
10. When your wife is talking with you, give her your full attention.  Turn off the TV or mute it, put down the paper, set the tool down or whatever you are doing.  Give her eye contact with a kind and accepting look while she shares something with you.

ROMANCE

Lest you get the wrong idea, romance is not all about the physical sex act. Men and women certainly think differently on this. When a man thinks of romance or intimacy, he often thinks of the physical act of intercourse and/or orgasms. When a woman thinks of romance, she connects it to the full range of the relationship and all of the dynamics that exist there.

Men, get your focus off of yourself and back on her. When you only see your woman as an object of your sexual release, you fail to recognize the depth of her personality, the beauty of her “person”, how wonderful and lovely the real “woman” is, and therefore you are unable to enjoy the true romance and intimacy that could be had in your relationship.

You see, a man can have the physical act of sex regardless if he just had a fight with his woman. Whereas, the woman normally need to be feeling good about the relationship before she is ready to give herself in an intimate fashion to the man.

The man is more interested in conquering and getting on with things. He got his fulfillment even if he left the woman feeling somewhat humiliated and violated because he does not value her as a woman. He just sees her as a sexual fixture so to speak. If he is in the bed with her for 30 minutes, the other 23-1/2 hours of the day he may speak harshly to her, not be helpful, not care about her desires, dreams, hurts, what makes her fulfilled, etc. He may also be unfaithful in a variety of ways, including masturbation, looking at porn, and illegitimate affairs. So basically, when he treats her this way she sees that he only wants one little part of who she is but he does not care about the other 99% of her that really matters!

Men, you take care of the 99% portion, and you will have a woman on your hands that is the most desirable, beautiful, and lovely person that you could imagine!!! She will love to be intimate and romantic with you. Her tendency will not be to give you the cold shoulder.

Romance is all about valuing the woman, making her feel loved and secure in the relationship. It’s about her knowing that you cherish and honor her. There’s no one else but her. She has no competition. When you speak of her to others it’s with tender terms of affection.

Picture yourself being given a priceless vase. Your task is to carry it for the rest of your life and never harm it in any way. You are to protect it even with your life! Its value is so high that nobody can place a high enough price on it. Men, your woman is that vase. You are to treasure her as a priceless vessel and cherish her. Begin to look at her that way and then begin to treat her that way. Watch what happens to your relationship. You will thank us many times over for this tidbit of advice!

So, how can you “romance” your woman, men? Let us try to offer some real practical ideas. These are not rocket science, just simple, every day thoughtful acts that you can do for her that will let her know that you are serious about her and the relationship. Men, these suggestions must come from a heart of love for your precious wife, not just “going through the
motions”! She is so worth it!!